You're Doing Fine, Oklahoma

The fair has 5-star cuisine, and I should know, as the fatty who went twice. You have to eat dinner anyway, and who doesn't want fair food for dinner every night? And the fair is only here once a year. I'm done defending my double attendance. The first time, Nicah and I were too busy trying to find the elusive red velvet funnel cake to be bothered with pictures.

What we look like at fairs.

The second time though, I got it right. After 2 nights of extensive research, I have determined the finalists as true achievement in all things fried.

The theme for the fair - eat stuff on sticks.

The rootbeer just tastes better in a jug, one of the great mysteries of the world.

If it's not fried, it's covered in chocolate, nothing is safe, not even bacon. Culinary genius.

The sweet, salty baby Kettle Corn. Nicah's crack.

The piece de resistance of the fair, the crown jewel and fair-est of them all:

RED VELVET FUNNEL CAKE!!! Drizzled with cream cheese icing and covered in powder sugar. The stuff dreams are made of!!!

Other fair attractions:

The picture I actually got instead of the picture I was attempting to get of the World's Smallest (LIVE) Horse. I hate breaking rules.

This double wide was nicer than any house I've ever lived in...and costs less than my car.

Maybe next year I'll be brave enough to look at the 29in woman. Thanks for another great year of food, fun, and freaking ugly people at the Oklahoma State Fair.